From Prosecco to Tarot: How to Embrace Your Inner Witch When Everything Is Burning
I have never been a woo-woo girl. I mean, get enough prosecco in me and I’m definitely a whoo girl:
“Do you guys wanna get nachos after this? YES! Whoo! Nachos! Oh my God, your hair is pretty…”
But crystals, tarot, and moon water? Never really been my thing.
Until now.
Living through yet another Trump presidency where the state of Florida decided the official state animal should be Yersinia pestis (the plague germ) and concluded that women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community are persona non grata changes a person.
You know shit’s bad when I’m breaking out a dead language.
Historically, a woman who had some semblance of knowledge, proffered an opinion or merely chose to exist was at jeopardy of being labeled a witch and punished accordingly.
History might not repeat itself, but it sure as fuck rhymes.
So, you know what? I’m stepping into my power and embracing all things wild and witchy.
I’ve been drawn to witches ever since I was a child. I must have read Jill Murphy’s Worst Witch series a thousand times and I remember being utterly enthralled when my Year 3 teacher, Ms. Styman read The Witches by Roald Dahl to us. (As an adult, I’ve got some issues with that book, but that’s an invective for another time).
I wear a lot of black, though that might be sartorial laziness as opposed to an ideological statement.
I love Stevie Nicks but I’ve got two ears and a heart, don’t I? My spice cabinet would inspire the British East India Company to colonize my kitchen. And my grandfather used to craft birth charts for people based on Vedic astrology and the positioning of the stars when they were born.
He wasn’t Wiccan; we’re just Hindu as hell.
From here on out, I’m embracing all of it, and I invite you to join me.
We’re not going to let the bastards grind us down. We are celebrating women and girls because remember: they didn’t burn witches; they burned women and we’re well and truly done with that shit.
The Season of the Witch: Self-Care, Community and Resistance
Here is some cool shit we can do to manifest positive energy, protect our peace, and fight back:
1. Create a Sanctuary
Light autumn-scented candles that smell like cinnamon, nutmeg, apples, pumpkin, cloves, cedar smoke, and burning sugar. Set an intention when you light them and an intention when you blow them out. Make your home smell cozy and feel safe.
2. Donate with Purpose
Donate to Planned Parenthood in honor of your favorite Republican lawmaker. There are so many to choose from - how ever will you decide? Better make multiple donations just to be sure!
3. Read Your Cards
Get a tarot card deck that resonates with you and draw a card every day. Ask a question and let that be your intention. I have a Buffy the Vampire Slayer deck and it brings me SO much joy.
4. Manifest with Your Morning Coffee
Stir cinnamon into your coffee - clockwise to manifest positive energy, counterclockwise to banish negative energy. Also, have you ever had a dirty Horchata? It’s fucking amazing.
5. Host A Charcuterie Coven
Make cheese plates and share them with the women you love. Aldi has the best prices on cheese and other goodies.
Baked Brie: Bake a wheel of brie with honeyed bourbon and garnish it with fresh thyme when you take it out of the oven. Serve it with cinnamon-dusted pecans, Honeycrisp apples, really good seedy bread and alongside a big old thwack of Cambozola, the sharpest cave-aged cheddar crackling with shatter-crisp lactic crystals and smoked gouda.
6. Brew a Magic Potion (aka Mulled Wine)
You can’t have cheese without wine. Grab a bottle of your favorite bold red and add orange slices, cranberries, and Penzey’s mulling spices. Hell, throw some honey and amaretto in there too because, well… gestures to everything.
7. Meditate and Hydrate Before You Die-Drate
Meditate by the water. Whether it’s a river, a stream, or one of those plug-in fountains—anywhere you can hear water bubble and burble. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on your heartbeat. Forgive your ex…or, maybe ask the universe that they have an encounter with a particularly grouchy bear. I don’t know your ex; they could be a real asshole who deserves to be an amuse-bouche for a grizzly.
8. Read Banned Books. Hell, Just Read Books
Read books about witches, goddesses, gorgons, and wronged women, because the pages of history are blood-red with their stories. Get a library card and wear it out. Read every goddamn thing.
9. Write Your Own Spells
Write. Write down your dreams and what you hope this day, this season, this year, this life will bring.
Write roiling invectives and burn them to ash. Write cards and poetry and songs and spells. Write “nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving” over and over again until you believe it because Bukowski was an alcoholic and a misogynist and kinda a dick but he wasn’t wrong. Not about this. Nobody But You - Charles Bukowski.
10. Cherry Lips, Go Baby Go
Wear a bold red lip the color of ripe pomegranate and stolen rubies. Red lipstick has long been a symbol of anti-fascism, and useless men get real twitchy about women wearing it. Check out Sephora’s Collection Cream Lip Stain in Cherry Moon.
11. Support Women-Owned Business
Support women-owned businesses like Migdalia Pace, Vela Negra, Corey Loves Color and Khanna House Studios.
12. Stick Something In The Oven That Isn’t Your Head
Buy Sweetzel’s spiced cookies and dip them in warm apple cider. Or, if you’re a much more adept kitchen witch, smash the ever-loving shit out of those cookies and mix with butter to form a pie crust and follow Crate & Barrel’s recipe for chai chess pie.
13. Moisturize
Slather on sunscreen, jasmine argan oil and your favorite lotion. Stay moisturized, hydrated and unbothered.
Love Each Other
Venmo $10 to a woman you love. Tell her to treat herself and that you love her.
Love yourself. Hard and out loud.
And remember you have sisters who love you. Hard and out loud.
Every damn day.
